February 10th, 2016 I wrote a poem in the wee hours of the morning, not knowing how much more relevant it would become in my life years later.
Photo by Greg Nunes on Unsplash
At the time, I was just coming out of a small struggle and felt this laid on my heart:
“We once were together,
Like the moon and stars at night,
But then I went left,
And You went right.
The pathway split,
I had to decide which way to go,
You said turn right,
But at the time I didn’t think so.
I stumbled and I fell,
The rubble beneath me began to crumble,
Why didn’t I listen,
I mumbled.
The way seemed shorter,
But it was to my downfall,
I realized much to my dismay,
That I had come face-to-face with a wall.
So back I went,
Ridding myself of this illusion,
Searching for the pathway,
Since what You said had been proven.
When I stepped into sight,
Of the place we split,
A lost passion within me,
Was suddenly lit.
There You were,
Not an inch moved,
I thought You went right,
But that idea was quickly disproved.
You waited at the corner,
With love twinkling in Your eyes,
You knew I would come back,
Your actions empathized.
I once ran away from You,
But now I run to You,
I was the prodigal child,
And you the forgiving Father.”
Relevance
I feel this stronger now than ever. What a mighty God we have to forgive and accept us back into His warm embrace! I was backslid for two years until this year. The Lord started drawing me back to Him in March and then I was refilled with the Holy Ghost May 17th, 2020. Thank you, Jesus, for your everlasting mercy!
Growing up in an Apostolic Pentecostal family/church, I never appreciated what a wonderfully blessed life I had. Slowly I became bitter at those around me because I couldn't live a "normal life" without feeling shunned. I did not even realize it until coming back into the church. The shunned feeling was just that too. Only a feeling. Looking back I see that it was conviction in my heart that I was really feeling.
Shortly after walking away from God, I met my amazing husband, Steven. Steven grew up in a Church of God Pentecostal church. When we first started dating, he would turn on gospel music and my, my. Conviction swelled up within me every time. My flesh hated it and begged him to turn it off.
About January or February 2019, the Lord began drawing both of us. I started going to services with my cousin, and my husband began visiting also a few months later. I really wanted to be back, but the draw of the world was stronger on me than I was willing to fight and there were some things happening that Steven and I didn't believe was right. We both agreed we would leave and find a new church. The devil used this as a tool to keep us away from the house of the Lord. We weren't both willing to go to the same type of church and eventually just stopped looking.
March of this year (2020), I began feeling the Lord draw me once again. I wasn't ready to give Him everything, but I began reading His Word, praying, and listening to some preaching on Holy Ghost Radio. I wanted to go be in service at Bro. and Sis. Strain's church, Pentecostal Tabernacle, here in Decatur, but that was when the stay at home order came around.
The manager for my work's answering service is my old pastor's sister from the same church. Every time I would need to call about our messages, I would hear this bright voice say, "Well, hello there!" When I left I felt like no one cared (devil's lie), but this wonderful lady was always so excited when she spoke to me. She made me feel loved by her and by the Lord at the same time.
My cousin, Jessica, began messaging me about how she was praying for me, loved me, and knew the Lord had something in store for me and Steven. I don't believe she knew how much all her many messages meant to my lost soul. She has been my encourager, best friend, and example of holiness and faithfulness.
Finally on Sunday, May 17th, I dropped my husband off at his parent's for the day and went to my old church, Lighthouse Apostolic Church in Lester, AL. The whole drive there, my flesh and my spirit wrestled over whether I would actually make it there and walk in. All I wanted to do was run in the opposite direction even though I had been praying for God to bring me back. The presence of the Lord was so strong that day. It took everything within me not to bawl the whole service. Altar call came and I watched my cousin Austin walk up to the front and raise his hands. The Holy Ghost fell on him and I wept for joy even though I didn't have it yet again myself. I was just so happy for him. Once the tears came, there was no stopping it. I began praying and asking the Lord to forgive me for every wrong and ungodly thing I have done. Ready and willing to turn away this time. Desperate. Oh, when the Holy Ghost washed over me, there aren't enough words to express how breathtaking, beautiful His presence is.
What a powerful, mighty God we serve! I am blessed to be changed, stay changed. For every child of God who has walked away from Him, it is not too late! The Father's arms are always open, waiting patiently and lovingly for you to come home. Come home, come home, come home! You are still loved. You still have a calling. You still have a great plan for your life in Him.
Luke 15:11-32 KJV The Parable of the Prodigal Son
11 And he said, A certain man had two sons: 12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. 14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. 15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. 17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. 20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. 22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. 25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. 28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. 29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: 30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. 31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. 32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.
If you feel the drawing of the Lord on your life and want a Bible study, please contact me today and I or one of the dear members at Lighthouse Apostolic Church will be happy to dive into the Word and pray with you. God bless you!
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