Trust by Sis. Ham
So blessed to have precious Sis. Ham as the guest writer today! Wonderful lady of God with a beautiful word.
TRUST God, my friends, and always tell him each of your concerns. God is our place of safety.
Psalms 62:8
Trust. An easy word to throw around. Much harder to put into practice.
I thought I knew how to trust God. After all, I’ve been through some tough spots in my life.... Until the day I had to hear unimaginable words like stage four. Six months. Quality of life, etc. etc...
I had no idea what a mouthful that trust word really was.
The next few months became a blur of doctors, emergency rooms, sleepless nights and desperation.
Desperately hanging onto the man I love who was literally struggling for every breath he took. Trying to hold myself together enough to help our children navigate through all the emotions they were dealing with. Trying to look strong for the many people that loved the same man I did and help them to somehow see Jesus in this whole big mess we found ourselves in.
Then three short months later I awoke to beeping monitors, a chaplain standing over my makeshift hospital bed and realizing with horror the man I’ve loved my whole life was slipping into his eternity.
I wish I could say here that all I felt was trust.
I did feel a whole lot of peace.
The next few months, surrounded by family and friends, I learned to wobble my way back to my feet again. Learned how to open the windows of my heart a bit and allow actual feelings to beat through there again.
You see, the weeks and months leading up to the heavenly home going of my beloved husband, I’d learned prayer and trust on an entirely different plain. Then when those prayers weren’t answered in the way we’d so desperately longed for, I was ungrounded. I wasn’t angry with God. Not at all. I was just lost. Numb. I didn’t know how to adjust the God I’d known, who had always answered my prayers in a way I could rationalize, to this.
This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. How could God bring any good, any sense from this untimely(in my thinking) death?
I listened to countless sermons, read a ton of books, on trusting God to turn things for our good. Honestly, they just left me feeling confused and hopeless. HOW could this be for my good?
Truthfully, I still don’t know the answer to that & not sure I could ever reconcile the grief I feel to something that could be called good.
What I have learned is God is good.
He’s more than met my needs. He’s sent friends and family that have quite literally carried me through the past several months. He’s given me joy along the way.
There is still so much good in this life. Yes, even in the awful year of our Lord 2020. 😃
I see His good in the love for me in my children’s eyes, in the smiles and giggles of my granddaughters, in the beautiful sunsets I love and even in the quiet peace I feel when I visit my sweetheart’s resting place.
He’s still good.
He’s still here.
And I still trust Him.
Psalm 28:7 - The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart TRUSTS, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Sis. Ham
Writer of "Trust"
Reminds me of Indiana Bible College's song Still I Will Trust.
"Still I will trust You,
Still I will follow,
Still I will listen To Your every calling,
And Oh the storm,
It rages on,
And I can't find my way,
Still I will trust You Lord"
Such a touching word, Sis. Ham! Thank you so much for blessing us today.
Please share with someone who needs this word today. God bless!
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